Ch-ch-ch-chafing!

Ouch. This is what the skin on my collarbone says. Yow.....armpits. With the onset of warmer weather comes new and interesting reactions to running clothes. I *might* have overdone it this past weekend. I ran 6 on Saturday- both to process and ruminate all the information I acquired this weekend (including the appearance of a very special guest star at rehearsal) and to silence the voice in my head that tells me I am a lazy fatass....this was a lovely run. It was humid and I figured that's why my knee got a little creaksville on me. So, I decided it would be lovely to do 11 the next day. The knee doth protest. And kept protesting through most of those miles...until it finally just refused to go. thankfully, this was two blocks from the car. We took yesterday off, the knee and I, a rest day made easier by the fact that I also had to recover from a blender full of Blaine's dacquiris! But, we are still a bit on the sore side of ouch.

Trying, Trying, TRYING to savor the moment

I consider myself someone who can generally appreciate the irony, humor, or ridiculousness of whatever it is I am doing at the time. Also, I have found that running really helps me do this particularly well (why I would want to appreciate sweating like a pig and subjecting myself to HOURS of putting one foot in front of the other fairly rapidly is beyond me, but i never claimed to be sane, just aware). So, I am struggling right now; really, really struggling. So much so that I have found myself counting down the days until I can be free. Let me explain.

The fact that I am currently rehearsing for a part that I had, then was splitting and then told over voicemail that I was too fat to do (so I stopped attending rehearsals) and THEN called and asked to do after all, requiring more rehearsals than I am able to sanely commit to or had ever planned on, takes every ounce of mental energy that I have. For each and every rehearsal. Add to this a full time job that is fairly stressful, the fact that I am running another half-marathon in 2 1/2 weeks, and a brand new puppy who needs a consistent schedule and you might be able to see why I am at the end of my rope.

Instead of counting down the days to race day and being excited, I am planning for the race and the fact that I have to rehearse about 4 hours after I finish it. Not exciting. I know that the shows will be good, and so will the race, but I can't wait until this is over so that I can focus on the upcoming running goals and think about taking a vacation. And, the puppy.

In the meantime, I will try and focus on one day at a time and direct that anger towards the speed workout that I am doing today before I speak on a panel this evening. Ramble on.

Serious Ambition

You know that you are insane when you choose races based on the baseball schedule....but that is EXACTLY what I did yesterday! The Chicago Distance Classic is a half-marathon that happens on August 10th. This is great timing beause it is about 2 months before San Francisco, but even better because the Boston Red Sox will be in town to play my White Sox!! So, I am taking a day and going to Friday night's game (and fireworks display), which will give me a chance to cheer on my team AND recover for a day before the race, which is super early on Sunday morning.

This morning, I couldn't get out of bed. The plan had been to run before work. HOwever, the plan didn't happen. Maybe it's because I ran to and from yoga yesterday morning, on my "off" day; maybe it's because I have a puppy who is a lovable and squishy energy zapper; maybe it's because i am absolutely DREADING having to rehearse tonight and could think of nothing better than staying buried under the covers all day. However ,while I was lying in bed berating myself for being such a slacker, and noting that I would have to now run either directly before or after rehearsal (enjoy those six miles, sucker), I started thinking about goals. That, and Blaine made me promise not to commit to 47 races that make my schedule such that we can't take a vacation this summer...

Here are my thoughts:
I have the Brooklyn Half in 3 1/2 weeks- which will be a day that begins with running a half-marathon, followed by dance class and rehearsal and a Kentucky Derby party.....FULL DAY. This one I am not hoping to take off too much time (maybe a minute or 2)- I would be happy to run a 1:55.

Then, I am waiting to see if I get into the NYC Half on July 26th- this gives me a lot of time to train. If not, there is Chicago on August 10. This one is a big one- I want to break 1:45 for this, which I hope will put me on pace for the full marathon two months later.

And here is the big goal: the one I will need encouragement and pushing to achieve.....
I want to run San Francisco in under 3:40, which will mean that I qualify for Boston the following spring. There it is: I've said it......I am running to qualify for Boston.
Shit.

Do I need a running coach? OR do I simply need my head examined? Why am I so competitive?

When the Running Gets Tough.....

Well, I did it. I actually ran my first half-marathon last weekend. After training and having that training sometimes undermined by the arrival of my own little bundle of puppy-butt joy, Sunday was race day.
It was chilly; it was spitting at times; it was hard (damn that hill on the north side of west drive!!); and it was awesome. But more than the actual running itself, I was so touched by the people out that morning yelling their support, not just for their own loved ones, but for every woman running that race. And, there was my team- Agata and Jo screaming and waving on BOTH laps of that race. It made such a difference to me. I finished in 1:56:56- meeting my goal of finishing in under 2 hours (not bad for a first-timer), and I am not certain exactly what or how, but to steal a phrase from the back of several someones' shirts, the woman who finished the race is not the same as the woman who started it. My outlook on life has shifted, just the slightest bit. Sure, there is a confidence that results from testing oneself and finding that one is up for that test. But, ultimately, I feel calmer- in running, like life, there ae good days and bad days, and good moments that can go terribly wrong in the blink of an eye. After that race, I am a little more accepting of that fact, a little more flexible (don't try and tell my hamstrings that, though) to the twists and turns on the course ,and still, a little more determined than before.

Furthermore, I am so encouraged by the support that I have found from all my family and friends and so incredibly touched by knowing that, in some way, this new sport has moved others to take action. If my running means that those women I met last night post-run get on that bike they bought or do a lap around the track, if it means that Jo's mom goes for that walk around the lake, if it means that I can run for a cause that I believe in and support those who can't get started themselves, then I am so, so humbled to know that it does make a difference that I can't possibly stop. And yes, I know that for a lot of you, my running most immediately means that you get to plan a trip to San Francisco and well, that's a hell of a bonus too!

I will continue to run for my life...and the lives of others, whatever form of help that effort might offer.

Next up: Brooklyn half on May 3rd. I am already back to running, greatly helped by the cooperative spring weather.

The one for Charity: The Nike NYC Half- July 27th- stay tuned for details on how to help, coming soon.

The Big One: Mama's first Full Marathon- Nike Women's Marathon, San Francisco, CA- October 19.