Trying, Trying, TRYING to savor the moment

I consider myself someone who can generally appreciate the irony, humor, or ridiculousness of whatever it is I am doing at the time. Also, I have found that running really helps me do this particularly well (why I would want to appreciate sweating like a pig and subjecting myself to HOURS of putting one foot in front of the other fairly rapidly is beyond me, but i never claimed to be sane, just aware). So, I am struggling right now; really, really struggling. So much so that I have found myself counting down the days until I can be free. Let me explain.

The fact that I am currently rehearsing for a part that I had, then was splitting and then told over voicemail that I was too fat to do (so I stopped attending rehearsals) and THEN called and asked to do after all, requiring more rehearsals than I am able to sanely commit to or had ever planned on, takes every ounce of mental energy that I have. For each and every rehearsal. Add to this a full time job that is fairly stressful, the fact that I am running another half-marathon in 2 1/2 weeks, and a brand new puppy who needs a consistent schedule and you might be able to see why I am at the end of my rope.

Instead of counting down the days to race day and being excited, I am planning for the race and the fact that I have to rehearse about 4 hours after I finish it. Not exciting. I know that the shows will be good, and so will the race, but I can't wait until this is over so that I can focus on the upcoming running goals and think about taking a vacation. And, the puppy.

In the meantime, I will try and focus on one day at a time and direct that anger towards the speed workout that I am doing today before I speak on a panel this evening. Ramble on.